Coping Techniques for Lost Privacy and Moving into the Unknown
I moved to México with 100% confidence that this is what I wanted. I left my home, garden, newly discovered community and friends in Texas to start a life that is wholly my own and of David. We had always known that we would one day make this move but the timing was unknown. When the opportunity presented itself 4 months ago, we knew that it was time to make another transition in life. I am here now and still feel good about my move but there are some difficulties that I am now confronting that inevitably occur when one moves away from something known to the unknown.
These are the things I knew:
We were to move in with my mother in law until we find our own space.
I would have to put my work on pause as I figure out WHAT NEXT.
Communication would be difficult as Spanish is my second language.
My relationship with David would need to refocus on honest communication.
Event though I knew that the transition would provide challenges regardless of my excitement to pursue this chapter of life, I still find myself going through moments of anxiety, stress, confusion, lack of inspiration, fear and depression.
Basically, I knew to expect this but I didn't know how I would cope and for me, working with emotions is the only way to move forward.
Coping with Anxiety, Stress and Confusion
I grouped these together because I have a tendency to feel all of this at once. When anxiety or stress occur in my life, it is usually because I don't yet understand what my direction or purpose is. I feel like my head is in a fog and that all of my inspiration has been drained.
I know that staying stagnant and just hoping these feelings will disappear when I awake is not an option because it has never worked that way for me before. So I turn to movement. Movement in my body facilitates movement within my mind and spirit. Something as simple as going on a 30 minute bike ride allows me to physically transport myself away from an area where I am hanging out with Stress and Anxiety.
By moving away from this hang out zone, I allow a new feeling to enter: Curiosity. Curiosity is interesting because like Anxiety, it deals with the unknown. It asks "what if", "maybe I could..." "how can". Unlike Anxiety, however, curiosity gives me the power to create my own narrative of the unknown without the pressure of performance and success. Anxiety and Curiosity must be cousins.
Movement is my coping mechanism to allow for the transformation of stagnant anxiety, stress and confusion to dynamic curiosity which ultimately leads to creativity.
Coping with Fear and Depression
Fear and Depression are old pals of mine. We used to hang out a lot. We had beers together, stayed in bed all day, and went through unintentional fasts. They rarely come around nowadays since I learned how to slow down and actually process emotions rather than be carried away by them. I also know how to manage them now that I know how to care for my true needs.
Depression is the feeling I get when I know I am not in alignment with my purpose and fear is when I have lost track of what that purpose is. At this time, I am dealing with a complete shake up of my reality. Internet and cell signal are sparse, I no longer have my garden, I don't have my own privacy and my ability to do and act has been hampered since I now have to depend on others to help me get around. Going from independence to needing other's assistance is rough!
But that is not even the hardest thing about this situation. I know for a fact that this is how it will have to be for a while until I begin to understand how to move around. The hardest part about these feelings is that I must put in place practices that help me move through them rather than try to circumvent reality. In essence, I need to root myself again within my spirit in order to feel stable, secure and grounded.
Humility is the name of the game. I need help because I am new. I need help because I don't know. I need help because I wish to grow in alignment with my new reality rather than impose my past reality onto the present.
So once again, I must humbly retire within and meditate for peace and alignment with what will become my purpose's renaissance.
I may not be able to meditate like I once did, near my altar that grew through the span of 5 years in my old home. But I think corners are divine. They are perfect places where nothing and everything can happen. I already made a makeshift altar space in the corner of my bedroom. Now it's time to do the hard part: BEGIN
In addition to peaceful alignment, I crave movement. Being in the middle of nowhere does have its perks... for example, I can be in nature and play music that brings me joy and dance like nobody is watching because truly, nobody is... unless my mother in law and David are spying on me...
PS: Writing this blog post is probably the most therapeutic activity I've done all week.